Not Tellin’ You Anything
by StOnE CoLd SaRaH
Summary: My attempted at April Fool's humor. Staring Sean O'Haire! -crowd screams happily- Actually set before WrestleMania 19. R&R please!


A/N: Another bad attempt at bad humor. I don't own the lovely and devilish Sean O'Haire -swoons at the mere possibilities- Nor do I own the fluffy and pretty (in a good way!) Spanky, erm, Brian Kendrick. Or any of the other characters. Vince does. I'm an unemployed lazy high schooler. You don't want my worthless shit, so don't sue! This is dedicated to my Ulkie Terry in honor of her birthday (and more importantly the fact that it has Sean O'Haire in it ^_^) Rock on!   
  
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Sean O'Haire was walking around the back of the arena spewing his so-called "advice." Brian Kendrick was slightly intrigued and decided to follow him around. Sean didn't seem to mind that one of his first "disciples" was following him.   
  
"Hulk Hogan... You have nothing to fear when it comes to Vince McMahon... The lines of age have not imbedded themselves on your battle scarred forehead. You really are as young as you feel. As long as you keep that in your mind, you'll win your match easily. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know."   
  
As Hogan was walking away muttering something about 'knowing that kid from NATURAL BORN THRILLERS..." Sean gave Brian a bemused look. "He'll win all right... Until Vince uses some dirty trick to change the tide."   
  
"Oh, hello, there Kurt Angle. Good luck with your match tonight. You're American values will most certainly help you along on your winning way. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know..."   
  
Kurt just nodded that he had heard Sean's ranting's as he walked quickly away. Sean turned to Brian, his eyes sparkling, "He'll need -all- my luck against that gorilla of a monster."   
  
"Matt Hardy! Good luck during your match tonight! Though with your Mattitude I'm sure you don't even need my luck... But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.."   
  
"You're darn right you not tellin' me anythin' I don't already know!! Rey Mysterio's little Mexican ass is grass!" Matt yelled behind his shoulder as Shannon Moore dutifully scampered behind him.   
  
"Pfft..." Sean said rolling his eyes once they were out of range. "The only way he'd ever win against the great Rey Mysterio is if he got his BJ lovin' little follower Shannon Moore to interfere in the match..." At the frightened look Brian was giving Sean, he clarified, "BJ? ....Banana Juice? Am I the only one who listens to Tazz when he talks? Apparently I am."   
  
"Ah, another one!" Sean said grinning at the newest person to their group, "Hello, Chuck. I'm glad to see that you weren't too badly injured after being accosted by that large ex-con. You're still as beautiful and lovely as ever. But, then again, I'm not telling you anything that you don't already know...."   
  
Chuck Palumbo looked at Sean for a minute, then grinned and engulfed him in a hug. He looked at Brian, and then turned back to Sean and said matter-of-factly. "Listen Seanie, it's not April Fools yet... So, stop showing off and stop lying."   
  
Sean blinked innocently, "Lies? Why it's not only been lies that I've been practicing..."   
  
A scream came from Torrie Wilson's locker room.   
  
"I've also found myself drawn to practical jokes as well..." he trailed off grinning devilishly as Torrie Wilson came running out of her locker room, clad only in a towel. And blue. Very blue. Her entire body was a light, sky blue color.   
  
Brian and Chuck looked at each other and said, "But, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know?"   
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Sean O'Haire muse: But, what I was telling Chuck wasn't a lie!!! He is a beauty!   
  
Chuck muse: -hold up hands in surrounding motion- Hey, hey! I've tried men, remember? I'm back to liking my women with big butts....   
  
Sean O'Haire muse: -rummages around in his bag- Aha! -pulls out some of Dawn Marie muses lingerie- I can so totally -do- the woman look!   
  
Chuck muse: -sighs and ends the story-   
  
THE END!   
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End file.
